I’m a third of the way in. And I’m tired. Getting happy is a lot of work, which is probably why most people are unhappy – it’s far easier. I’ve heard from a few people who are little further down the happiness line and they assure me this stuff turns second nature, but tonight, today, is an effort. I have no profound statements to share, nothing kind or wise to say. I’m tired. But I’m here. And that’s what counts, right? Please say it counts.
Started the day with it again, but set an alarm (thank you for that suggestion). I actually had a bit of a rough night last night; lots of almost-lucid dreams, and I could never figure out where reality was, and once I found it, it was hard to settle into. Meditation this morning provided some comfort. Still on 20 minutes, so I guess that’s some progress.
I walked home again today. I had to book it because I was having people over for dinner, and I showed up sweaty.
Random Act of Kindness
Today was payday. I usually get excited about paydays because I have enough money for the “good wine.” Instead of the “good wine,” I calculated the cost of a week’s worth of bottles and donated that to pancreatic cancer research. That’s what ultimately took my grandmother, and it took her mother from her. They were close, and I know that losing her mother devastated her, so I made the donation in my grandmother’s and great-grandmother’s honor. My liver is the only thing about me right now that is overjoyed.
Reflect on something good that happened
Someone wrote to me today to say that I was “super cute.” I feel decidedly super un-cute. I’ve been amazingly single for a while, without any nibbles on the bait, so it was sweet, and definitely the highlight of the day.
3 things I’m grateful for
1) I accomplished a lot this week
2) I don’t want to be in this today, but I’m here anyway
3) The really amazing comments from people that help to ensure that “I’m here anyway”
Sorry, guys. I feel like I’m letting you down with this posting. Fingers crossed I have more in me tomorrow.