Week 2

Yikes, I am late!  I somehow got myself into a calendaring pickle and haven’t had a moment to write until this evening.  But I got all the tasks done last week.  I got myself to spin class three days, got in other forms of exercise on alternate days.  The journal is filling up with good things and gratitudes.  Me and meditation are getting reacquainted.  But my random acts of kindness have been small.  Random, but small.

But other people are knocking that one of the park.  Like this woman behind me in line at the coffee shop Sunday morning.  I was 15 cents short and half asleep, and the barista was staring at me as I tried to figure out what I should do.  “Um, could I get a medium instead?  Should I go get cash and come back?”  She stared as I stumbled, and she refused to make it easy for me.  And then this angelic creature, this Mother Teresa of All Things Caffeinated, slid two one-dollar bills across the counter and said, “Will this help?”  And I loved her more in that moment than anything I’ve loved all week.  All I needed was 15 cents and she easily and generously more than covered it, releasing me from the discomfort, humiliation, confusion, and awkwardness, and I was reminded how much this one counts.  Since then, my acts of kindness have been more direct.

Week 2

I also officially signed up for the AIDS ride in June and set up my fundraising page.  I’ve got a few donors, and there’s no going back now.  My legs are still angry at me, but they’re slowly coming around, along with my relationship to mornings–though I suspect that one will take a lifetime.

Apologies for the short and scattered nature of this post, but I only had a few minutes and wanted to make sure I was keeping up my end of the bargain.  Next week will be more substantive – promise!  Thanks for sticking with me!

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4 comments

  1. Jeannette Pepin

    An angel in the coffee shop! God bless her! Angry legs benefit from some magnesium. Helps tame that nasty lactic acid that can settle in. And don’t forget to stretch! Love and blessings to you! ♥

  2. Patricia

    I googled “Filling the Zhole in My Soul” and found you. It helps so much to know that I’m not the only one who feels so deeply, but I know you, Randy, and I have also been as loving as the coffee lady. Our sacred contracts were written to enable us to experience the depths and breadth of our emotions. Others endure physical pain. Surely that must be worse! I learn so much from my experiences, as I know you do. Enough rambling. There will be bright spots tomorrow, and I will seek them out, and perhaps manage to run along Bayshore Drive in Tampa where I live. And I trust that you, Randy, will continue to try. In the summer I discovered The Theosophical Society, and a few weeks ago I was prescribed a mood stabilizer. Both have made huge differences. But the processing must still be done, my psychologist, my psychiatrist and my spiritual teachers all tell me. And so we put one foot in front of another and Carry On as the song says. Time to peace out, as my daughter says. Big hugs! Go Longhorns!

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